Carolina Liar@ the Fox!

Just dropped his microphone. Ha!

Prince of Carts

Overweight 30-something office drone white boy who has no inclination for golf, applies for avolunteer position at PGA. He's hired. And so I find myself aiding the Chairman of Carts at this week's PGA Tour Championship at East Lake Golf Club. I love America.

Volunteering has been an adventure. My job has been to help distribute golf carts to people working the event. In so doing, I met a lot of great people, and have seen many interesting sights.

Of note:
1. Charging carts while there is standing water on the ground is dicey business. GFCI outlets help, but grabbing each charger, I cringe awaiting the jolt that tells me a.) that God has a sense of humor and b.) that GA Power seems to be sticking to their claim of "Always On".
2. Watched a woman have a hissy fit when we marked her cart as having "Restricted Access" to the grounds during play on Thursday. Princess took it real hard.
3. Port-a-potties are still nasty even if the only people using them are the upper crust of the Southeast.
4. The complimentary volunteer golf attire is nicer than most of my own clothes. I think I need to redress the balance of my wardrobe vs. video game budgets.
5. Telling Tiger that he "cannot drive that cart here" is a good way to get a death glare.
6. Men watching golf invariably wear golf shirts. No joking here. They ALL do.
7. There is a Top Gun pilot in attendance who carries a portable, yet powerful radio to help guide in the Navy flyover for the opening ceremony. He is accompanied by arm candy, rather than any kind of security. To me, this makes him even more awesome.
8. Navy flyovers make any event more badass.
9. The guys on the ground working for the various TV networks are dicks. Plain and simple.
10. I still don't have any desire to play golf.

And so with the events behind me I ask myself, "Why the hell didn't I choose to work a golf course when I was a teen?" I saw Caddyshack. I saw the girls at my school whose daddies played. I knew how comfortable a visor can be.

And yet I chose books, Super Nintendo, Sam Raimi movie marathons, and Magic: The Gathering instead. I could have been getting exercise, driving carts like a maniac, getting paid, smoking cigarettes, seeing the sunshine, wearing Chinos, etc. all that time.

A 7/6 Craw Wurm crushing a 4/4 Water Elemental has nothing on this.

Graphic Fail

Can anyone spot the fail in tonight's ESPN coverage of Boise State versus Oregon?

Personally, I'm rooting for Team Logo. They have the best offense!

Endoscopy or Spooky RR Tunnel?

Tunnel Hill, GA. You decide.

Someone's getting booted out of the PTA

Rubbed cars with another parent in the parking lot. That's two in two years.

No networks found!

Welcome to Arkansas.

Star Wars @ the ASO

Note the Jedi and Troopers onstage. They soon left for the nacho stand.

Wendy's new color

Me likey.

Lunch and a show!

Volunteering with East Lake Foundation, and got a free show, after cooking 500+ hot dogs.


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My friend pizza and I...

Are going steady.

Psyche! I just cheated on you with Turkey Club.

A million tiny diamonds...

It's so ridiculously hot and humid...

Making this crazy bald guy sweat more than I've ever seen. The beads of sweat on his noggin look like a million tiny diamonds.

The BGW is ON!

Oh yeah. It's for real.

Pants too small

My brother's tux for the wedding. How bout those pants?


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Popcorn As Cereal

I made all this popcorn. And it was awesome. I like popcorn like chicks like chocolate. But if Wendy or the boys don't share, then I'm stuck with cups and cups of leftovers. And that stuff doesn't keep. It's always been a damn shame, in my eyes. Tossing out all that popcorn.

So I watched Good Eats and I learned something new. The next morning, put those pops in bowl and add some milk. Popcorn as breakfast cereal.

It was delicious. Thank you, Alton Brown.

House Painted

House is now painted a fresh coat of "cornerstone" by Behr. trim is bright white, doors and shutters a crisp black. My house looks new and clean. I am no longer ashamed to live there.

The Gathering Storm Cover Art

So... The Gathering Storm is scheduled for publication on November 3rd, 2009. I am excited. I have already written the ~$25 into my November budget. I will get a copy and read it non-stop, ignoring spouse and children (as my wife did with Twilight).

I've been checking up on the author's blog - and he's excellent at sharing. Thank you Mr. Sanderson. However his latest entry has me cynical all over again, though through no fault of his own. TOR (the publisher) has released the cover art. And it sucks. Oh dear lawd it is awful.

Too bad SNL is over this season. This should get it's own "Really?" with Seth Meyers. This cover deserves to be mocked. Is that a wormhole in the house? A secret tunnel to Narnia? I want to junkpunch the editor that approved this.

How can I convince other people to read this series, when all the coverart looks as if it was picked from a local junior high submission contest?

As to why we are saddled with Mr. Sweet and his interpretations...It's clear that TOR signed some deal with the artist and are as such contractually obligated to use him for the whole series. Because surely otherwise rational publishers would have sacked him long before now. Or maybe the decision makers are similarly out of touch.

Did you see the midget/hobbit on the Crossroads of Twilight cover? There are no fucking hobbits in Randland! Can ANYONE explain that one?

Miss Ann's Reporting 3

To: stinky rick, bobby, uptown jane, phil hammers, pocomoco, steve, johnboy, Mrs. MBRK, jesus, eleanor, takisha, reggie veggie, heather
Cc: El Jefe
Subj: 3 hrs and done.

My belly is distended, like a trailer park manager on his night off. I can feel my skin straining, and I may get a stretch mark.


Seriously I just spent nearly half the work day in pursuit of what the WSJ declared the best in the nation.

I highly recommend it. I also recommend you bring a friend (my coworker had to bail) a book and a s-load of patience.

Oh and next time I'm leaving work no later than 10:30. That or I'm bringing my own chair.

I just burped and it tasted like...happiness and onions.

Miss Ann's Reporting 2

To: stinky rick, bobby, uptown jane, phil hammers, pocomoco, steve, johnboy, Mrs. MBRK, jesus, eleanor, takisha, reggie veggie, heather
Cc: El Jefe
Subj: 2 hrs and now I'm in

My belly hurts I'm so hungry. I was warned to skip breakfast for this.

The lady next to warns that I risk Miss Ann's wrath if I get caught texting.

Its worth the risk to keep you apprised of my adventure.

It looks soooo tasty!

Savannah

Had a great weekend touring Savannah and taking some pics. Here are a few that I liked.

Lady & Sons

We ate at Lady & Sons. I would give it 3 out of 5 stars. The place has plenty of hype, to be sure. And a waiting list a mile long. It was worth the experience ( I really love the photos of Paula Dean when young) but I wouldn't eat here regularly.

I've had the damnedest time with my large lens failing to focus on the right subject. Nevertheless, those out-of-focus photos can still be great.